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nice korean and japanese teenagers show us the way
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gabriel batistuta prays to be picked over crespo.
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sven with a waxwork of beckham ~ they look quite happy
together
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zizou looking magnificent ~ surely they won't win it
again...?
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veron & lopez...expect to see plenty of this behaviour
in june.
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the turks are coming to ulsan - lock up yer daughters!
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veron practices holding the world cup ~ it won't be
long now...
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Previewing each group from A ~ H for the first stage of the tournament, these thoughts and predictions could be wrong, but chillingly - they could be eerily right...! Now I assume you realize that just the top two teams from each of the eight groups qualify for the knockout stage. But you knew that didn't you.
FRANCE are current World and European champions and favourites to lift the
Cup come the end of June. They have world-class quality all over the pitch and
should cope without the injured Robert Pires, 2002 English Player of the Year.
They'll do well, suggests their record.
STAR PLAYER: Zinedine Zidane.
SENEGAL are one of five African qualifiers and seem to pose little threat in
this group. They're big and strong though, so Japan breathed a huge sigh of
relief that they are in another group. We reckon first round exit.
STAR PLAYER: Elhadji Diouf.
URUGUAY were the last team to qualify for Korea/Japan, beating the fancied
Australia. The fans are a bit hyper and here they come! They can play a bit
too (the team, not the fans, although they can probably play a bit too) and
their squad seems quite special. Maybe they'll beat France here in Busan? That'd
be nice!
STAR PLAYER: Alvaro Recoba.
DENMARK won Euro '92 and then disappeared. They have the usual mixture of handymen
and skill, and it seems as though it's them or Uruguay who goes through with
France. Why did they play so rubbish at Euro 2000?
STAR PLAYER: Ebbe Sand.
PREDICTION: FRANCE and URUGUAY. It's got to be!
SPAIN have never won the World Cup - surely they should have though by now.
What's keeping them? Are they shy? Maybe this is their year though - new century
and all that - their domestic league is the best in the world now and the national
squad is brimming with talent. They will certainly have a crack! And bet your
plane ticket home they'll come through the group stage unscathed. They've got
too much Champions League winning experience to crack up this time, haven't
they?
STAR PLAYER: Raul Gonzales.
SLOVENIA were the surprise packet of Euro 2000, outplaying some big opposition.
They've got their work cut out this time though against the Latin Giants. (Meaning
Spain and Paraguay.) But they have some skill, so maybe they'll lose every game
4-3 and make loads of friends? Then again no, they're playing South Africa so
they'll at least get three points. Don't confuse them with Slovakia: it's Slovenia.
Did you see that goal Acimovic scored in the play-offs? A chip from the halfway
line? The camera never got the next bit though: he ran off lifting his shirt
up revealing a t-shirt with the phrase "Shut it, Beckham ya bitch!"
See, they're winning friends already.
STAR PLAYER: Milenko Acimovic.
PARAGUAY almost won loads of friends in the last World Cup when they almost
knocked out France, but they didn't, and so everyone forgot them. Now they're
back, and this time they're serious, with their solid defence, marshaled by
the Brilliant Goal Scoring Goalkeeper Jose Luis Chilavert. Oh they'll ruffle
a few feathers all right.
STAR PLAYER: Jose Luis Chilavert.
SOUTH AFRICA didn't offer much at France '98. They're just as bad this time
too and if they progress past the group stages, we at Pusanweb will be amazed.
But it's easy to get tickets for their games, so thanks to them you can always
say, "I was there at the World Cup". So they're good for something
then.
STAR PLAYER: Quinton Fortune.
PREDICTION: SPAIN and PARAGUAY.
BRAZIL are full of attacking flair and talent. Of course
they are - they're Brazil! No Romario this time though but old Ronaldo is
fit again and scoring goals for Inter Milan. That means they stand a chance
of going all the way but maybe not, they were less than impressive during
qualification and a bit weak at the back. (Some things never change do they?
You'd think they'd sort it out but no, defending is below them¢®|)
Still, they've won this thing most times so don't write them off okay! Write
them off at your peril. We're serious.
STAR PLAYER: Rivaldo.
TURKEY are no longer the whipping boys of world football.
In the good old days, teams used to get bored with losing and invite Turkey
over for a good old hiding but those days are gone. They are dark horses with
a point to prove now, and just watch them put great names to the sword. Most
of the squad comes from club side Galatasaray, so they need no introduction
to each other.
STAR PLAYER: Hakan Sukur.
CHINA is a big country with lots of people, so if the
number of good footballers is proportional to population, then they'll beat
USA in this year's final. Ha, we know better than that don't we. This their
first World Cup, so they're very excited: perhaps too excited. I reckon they'll
get so excited before their first game, they won't be able to sleep, and then
when the game comes round they'll all be dazed and confused. Oh those Chinese.
STAR PLAYER: Fan Zhiyi.
COSTA RICA recently lost 2-0 to South Korea, and never
does anything in football so why should things be any different this time?
They might sneak one upset result though, because that is their role in life
- one upset result, lose the rest, go home. Like in Italia '90 when they beat
The Mighty Scotland, the world has only just got over that one. Thank God
for therapy!
STAR PLAYER: Paulo Wanchope.
PREDICTION: BRAZIL and TURKEY.
SOUTH KOREA are in an interesting group. They have home
team advantage and the benefit of an adoring and rowdy crowd, with their drums
and weird, long yellow balloons that fold in half so you can clap them loudly.
See every World Cup throws up a new contribution to football culture: first
came the Mexican Wave, and now the Korean Balloon. They're so inventive! Their
key game is every minute of every game, which comes under scrutiny, but let's
say the master key game is against the USA, which in advance looks like deciding
who goes through with Portugal. We're all brainwashed here, so we reckon Korea
will go through in second place or shhh¢®|maybe first!
STAR PLAYER: Hong Myung-Bo..
POLAND were recently beaten by Japan at home and that
says it all! They have to do much better than that! This is a serious game
you know, what were they playing at? What a fantastic goalkeeper though, Dudek.
Fantastic. He flies around that goal breaking opponents' hearts like a great,
heartbreaking eagle. So let's make him the star player.
STAR PLAYER: Jerzy Dudek.
USA can break through to the second stage this World Cup.
Korea stands in their way. But when the USA play old friends in World Cups,
they tend to lose, like last time against Iran. That means three points for
Korea in Daegu then. Except this time the States have a point to prove. And
now they realize the World Cup is only every four years, so it's no more "Get
you back next year" from them: it's now or never. So expect them to try
really hard. Gosh it's going to be a battle. I have to watch it.
STAR PLAYER: Landon Donovan.
PORTUGAL are a made of magic, and the world will not appreciate
any upsets that might knock the entertainers out. Are you listening, Poland,
Korea and USA? Well listen! We will not appreciate, neither will we tolerate,
everyone's second favourite side getting knocked out by the likes of you do
you understand?
STAR PLAYER: Luis Figo.
PREDICTION: PORTUGAL and KOREA.
GERMANY struggled to qualify this time around, which was a bit weird for everyone.
This included losing 5-1 at home to England, which was even rarer. But the Germans
are a "well oiled machine" so it's probably a big old ploy by them
to make everyone think they're rubbish, then they'll sneakily win the World
Cup. Because they plan everything over there in Germany and hear me you cannot
trust them, not at all. I can see their evil plan so clearly now.
STAR PLAYER: Michael Ballack.
SAUDI ARABIA were at France 98 and are back again. They'll enjoy the heat,
it'll be just like home. Hopefully they won't get too carried away and bring
loads of sand to their hotel rooms, it's a real nightmare to clean up, sand.
On second thoughts why do I care? I don't have to clear up do I? I keep forgetting,
I'm not a hotel cleaner anymore; I don't do that shit no more! Anyway they'll
be no match for the Irish! They might score some wonder goal, but their contribution
will be to confound and confuse Korean commentators who will almost certainly
get all their names wrong - brilliant!
STAR PLAYER: Sami Al Jaber.
THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND did brilliantly to qualify for the 2002 Finals and
no mistake. They knocked out Holland! You see, it's because they are the Fighting
Irish and they'll never surrender to the British, so how they win games is that
the manager tells the players that they are playing England, so they get all
Fighting and Irish and go out and win about 10-0. And what a legend that Roy
Keane is. And Robbie Keane is no slouch either. They'll do well you watch. Because
they have a secret weapon that no other nation has: no matter how hot or cold
it is, they don't notice. How do they do it? Sure World Cup winners.
STAR PLAYER: Roy Keane.
CAMEROON always qualify for the World Cup, and always seem to win the African
Nations Cup. They always seem poised to do something brilliant, but the World
Cup is cruel: lose a game and it takes four years to rectify it, and by that
time you've developed a complex and half your players are too old. They could
reach the semi-finals, but against the Irish with their Fight and the Germans
with their Guile, it'll take some extra bullets to get through. They are the
first team to play in sleeveless shirts, I mean what is this, badminton? But
they'll enjoy smashing the Arabs.
STAR PLAYER: Samuel Eto'o.
PREDICTION: GERMANY and IRELAND.
The Group of Death. Any of these players blink on the pitch and it's all over because these sides will punish you man. The key game seems to be Argentina v England. It was the Game of the Tournament last time and we're all excited about it here now. Because we pick up on what's going on on the pitch, the game seems to mean that extra bit more to the players. And then they pick up on what is going on in the stadium, it means a bit more to the fans, so it all goes round and the game seems to get bigger and more important each time it's played.It was bad enough in the Finals in 1966, the England manager Sir Alf Ramsey ran onto the pitch following the quarter final with Argentina and stopped his players swapping shirts, later branding the South Americans "animals" in response to their conduct on the field. Since the Falklands War in the early 80s though there has been more and more needle. The meeting in Mexico in 1986 didn't help, when Diego Maradona punched the ball in and the goal stood, effectively killing off England's campaign. He was later caught on film in the dressing room holding his 'hand' in the air, laughing with his teammates. What a scoundrel! Most recently was in France '98, when David Beckham was sent off after tapping an Argentinean player after being clattered from a wild and reckless lunge. Those Argies did it again! Surely two yellows would have done? Anyway we're over that now. There's always next time...
ARGENTINA are favourites to win the cup, the whole team looks brilliant with
their dashing 3-4-3 formation and classy players in every position. How did
they get this good? It just happened! Expect dazzling things from them. Hard
to see them losing a game, although their path to the final is so full of the
best teams that possibly they'll smash their way to the final then be so tired
they'll lose to Thailand or someone? That'll be the day.
STAR PLAYER: Claudio Lopez.
NIGERIA can play fantastic attacking football because they have flair and natural
ability. But they're mighty inconsistent too. Who knows which Nigeria will turn
up? Could beat Argentina because they rise to the occasion with great goals,
but will they have the concentration to do it game after game? Will they find
winning game after game too boring? Will they think putting in one focused performance
after the next below them? Aha!
STAR PLAYER: Augustine Okocha.
ENGLAND with their young squad look better with Sven Goran Eriksson at the
helm, but what's with all the sudden injuries? Captain Beckham could be fit
after breaking a bone in his foot but Neville, Dyer and Gerrard are all out:
that's the backbone of the team! They still have European Footballer of the
Year Michael Owen though, and he means goals, so maybe there's still a chance?
And sneaky old Paul Scholes is always good for a bit of sly damage. And what
about Teddy Sheringham! He's 36 you know!
STAR PLAYER: Michael Owen.
SWEDEN don't sound that scary but haven't lost a game of football for ages.
They have crept in there after a bad Euro 2000 and now have Ljungberg playing
great and Henrik Larsson with his dreadlocks and goals. They are just the sort
of side that teams will fatally underestimate, expect to beat, but will shock
everyone.
STAR PLAYER: Freddie Ljungberg.
PREDICTION: ARGENTINA and ENGLAND.
ITALY can win it. With a squad like they have, they have every chance, plus
they are in the "easy" half of the draw, so maybe an outside bet?
I am! Solid defence, great strikers, business as usual. When will the world
catch on?
STAR PLAYER: Fabio Cannavaro.
ECUADOR thrilled their home supporters by making to Korea & Japan. They
may just surprise you because they were great on the road here. Where is it
though?
STAR PLAYER: Agustin Delgado.
CROATIA finished 3rd in the last World Cup, isn't that amazing! Surely they
won't do it again though. Did you know that the Croatian word for Croatia is
"Hrvatsko"? Sounds nice doesn't it. (Actually I might be wrong about
that, but it's not far off.)
STAR PLAYER: Alen Boksic.
MEXICO are a nice team that broke Korea's hearts in France '98 before eventually
going out. They are good but not that good, so will go far but not that far.
Nice green shirts. Everyone seems to like Mexico. Maybe they're really nice.
STAR PLAYER: Cuauhtemoc Blanco.
PREDICTION: ITALY and CROATIA.
JAPAN have a great chance to progress. They are at home, which is always nice,
and their group is so easy. If Group F is the Group of Death what is this? The
Group of Tea and Sandwiches?
STAR PLAYER: Hidetoshi Nakata.
BELGIUM have to perform better than at Euro 2000, where they were the co-hosts
but still got nowhere. They knocked the Czech Republic out in the play-offs,
so thanks for that Belgium. The Czechs would have made it more interesting but
now we've got to watch you instead.
STAR PLAYER: Emile Mpenza.
RUSSIA were absentees at the last world Cup so will be keen to perform well
this time, and have a decent chance of progressing, especially in this group.
I wish Belgium weren't around.
STAR PLAYER: Viktor Onopko.
TUNISIA were swept aside at France 98 and will surely suffer again, even though
this group is so easy. See it's the Group of Tea and Sandwiches but do they
like sandwiches? Maybe they prefer Death!
STAR PLAYER: Adel Sellimi.
PREDICTION: JAPAN and RUSSIA.
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